Laetel's Snapshots

[Officer Laetel]

Memories are just where you laid them
Drag the waters ‘til the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was there something you left behind?
Don’t you remember everything that I said?

INTRO
You can never forget where you have come from, what you have done. The past is inescapable, like a pack of hellhounds set on your heels for all eternity. Here, I have caged these agonizing dogs, in hopes that one day, I will be able to look at these glimpses of my life and not flinch.

PAST SNAPSHOTS

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For a brief time in my youth, I threw myself into managing my father’s corporation after my parents were murdered. Somehow, I managed it well enough for the company to remain successful. I have a large sum of funds to rely on, but I grew board with corporate life, especially because I was so young then…
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I joined the Force at age 17. The debriefing was harsh. We were quickly told what a danger world we were getting into. I didn’t know just how dangerous….and how addicted to it I would become.
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I remember arresting that guy on Planet Sen. He was a gang leader.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the job. I enjoy bringing scumbags to justice, scaring the shit out of them with my knife, or whatever weapon I have on hand. The problem is…I don’t know what side I am on anymore.
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I spent a lot of time in bars, drinking here and there. Gradually, I began to get into the heavy stuff…the drugs. It was a wild ride, but I enjoyed the hell out of it.
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Somehow, someway, this kid got dumped into my care. I was only 18…I didn’t know a fucking thing about raising a child. But he seemed to adore me. His name’s Mattehl. Cute kid, ain’t he? He joined the Force, last I heard, as a rookie desk jockie…
He hated it when I’d come home high.

God, I miss the tyke…he’s probably grown by bounds now…
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My boss, known as Chief Thantel, saw how quickly I was going downhill. Anyone else would have been fired, but he knew I was damn good at bringing in whoever he told me to. He decided to step in….told me that I was going to have a partner in my duties, from then on…
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Don’t let her smile fool you. Chari hated me at first. She was a damn good cop herself, but she was hard, rough. Had no tolerance for me and my “playtime activities.” She forced me to get clean, for Mattehl, and because she didn’t feel like putting up with me when I was high.
She and I became close.

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But, time slipped away. An undercover op we were working on went bad. She managed to radio me in while she was still alive. I got there, high as a kite on my adrenaline drug. I decided shooting the place up would be a better option than getting her medical attention.

One of the ricochets killed her.
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Chief wasn’t happy when I came back by myself. Interrogated the fuck out of me, actually, about what had happened.
I lied. Told him that she was dead when I got there. He told me he hoped I could live with myself.
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I couldn’t.

I fell harder, faster into the world of drugs, carrying needles on me everywhere I went. When I wasn’t catching creeps, I was either high, or asleep. Mattehl left at some point…I think someone dragged him out. Probably for the better. I didn’t care much for anything living anymore. And that included myself.
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Chief threatened my place in the force as a First Rank. Told me to get my act together, or I was done. He sent me on my last-chance assignment, an off-planet one to catch a serial murderer…
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I was almost the next victim. I slipped, I fell, and I got caught. She tortured me. I remember screaming, pleading with her. Please….please don’t hurt me.

Oh, hurt me she did. She carved her name into my chest, laughing all the while. I was sure I was going to die that night, chained in, caged like a circus beast.
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But she let me go. To this day, I still do not understand why. She let me go.

And I became a part of the madness that is Ringmaster Adrien Le’More’s Circo de Anima...
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PRESENT SNAPSHOTS

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I don’t participate in the show a lot, unless Adrien directly asks me to. More often than naught, I’m in the crowd, watching her and the rest of the crew.
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I spend a lot of days relaxing in her trailer, keeping an eye on her as a bodyguard. She insists I stay off the drugs…it’s hard, but….I never want to go through that torture again. That woman knows how to inflict more bodily pain than some of the most hardened criminals I know.

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That doesn’t mean I slack off though. Some day, the Force will send someone to find out why I haven’t come back. And when they do, it’s not going to be pretty.
Hypocritical cops like me deserve to be shot. But that doesn’t mean I won’t go down without a fight.

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The circus is ar’right. Bloody, gory, weird, yeah. You’ll have that. But somehow, I feel more at peace than ever here. I’ve laid off the drugs, for now. I still use them occasionally (Adrien doesn’t know about those times…and it’s going to stay that way.) You meet some pretty interesting people around here. And sea lions. Barrlow and I have a lot of fun chats.
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That woman still has me chained up…metaphorically so.
But for now, I’ll stay.
After all…who doesn’t want to run away from real life and rules and join the circus?

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